New Year, New Start

New Years is one of, if not, my favorite holiday. The beginning of each New Year seems like a fresh start.

As the clock strikes midnight each year on 12/31, I feel like I have been totally cleansed.

The opportunity to set and achieve new goals always seems so in reach, like planting crops in the most perfect, fresh soil.

This year I am keeping it simple, but at the same time, hoping to achieve a few very important things.

Let me digress before I move forward …

For a few years, actually a lot of years now, I feel like a rat running on a treadmill. I am moving so fast in so many directions but never crossing the finishing line.

I am accomplishing a lot by conventional standards but what do these standards mean to me? Am I living up to my full potential?

No, I know I am not.

Am I contributing to society the gifts and talents that I have to offer, that happen to be unique to me? I know that I am not.

This year I going to stop beating myself up over this – not knowing if I am on the right path. I am going to let my journey unfold without interfering, and focus on doing things to get to know myself a little better, on a deeper level.

I think that once I have a better idea about who I am, I will in turn have more direction.

This year I want to achieve the following:

1. Personal health – go to the gym! I am a member, I pay fees, and I never go. I want to start running again – nothing serious – just a couple miles a few times a week with ease.

I also want to start lifting weights – again, nothing serious – just tone and muscle strength.

2. Meditation – I am a naturally intuitive person. I have been since childhood. I make all of life’s big decisions based on my intuition and I want to further develop this side of myself and see where it goes.

3. Better relationships – I want to actively participate in healthy, meaningful relationships with my family and friends. I want stop participating in negative, unhealthy relationships that have the potential to bring out the worst in me and others.

4. Creativity – take two classes to fulfill some credits, keep journaling, and do something new, like create a new bikini line or something fun.

5. Simplicity – I am tired of consuming. I am tired of stuff that creates clutter in my life. I am going to clean up my space – get rid of the clutter and stop buying unnecessary crap.

6. Therapy – I am going to give therapy an honest shot and in reality give myself an honest shot – and commit 2010 to uncovering who I am.

7. Family – Be more present in my relationship with the two people who are the center of my world – my husband and daughter.